I have hundreds of professional meetings every year with people I have never met before the appointment. After a lot of small talk, we get to the main points of the meeting and often it comes to a turning point, the mood changes after a while and we are faced with a conflict.
How do you not solve conflicts in your professional and private life? I have noticed these 5 points that ruin every human relationship, every conversation.
Avoid the problem: Ignoring the conflict or pretending it doesn't exist leads to resentment and unresolved issues, making the situation worse over time.
Being aggressive or hostile: Approaching the conflict with anger, threats or hostility can escalate the situation and this leads to further misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication.
Blaming and accusations: Pointing fingers and blaming others for the conflict leads to defensiveness and reduce the chances of finding a constructive solution.
Interrupting and not listening: Not listening to the other party and constantly interrupting prevents understanding and can make the other person feel disrespected. I know many people who simply don't listen and when they do speak, they give a very long monologue.
Imposing solutions: Imposing your solution on the other party without considering their needs and concerns can lead to dissatisfaction and may not address the root cause of the conflict.
There are certainly more occasions, circumstances and conditions that lead to conflicts. It helped me a lot to realize these five points and to work on how I can avoid them.
The most important thing is to put your own ego aside and give the other person space. If both sides are not only concerned with their own ego and satisfaction, a conflict can be resolved very quickly.
Book recommendations
How to Listen with Intention: The Foundation of True Connection, Communication, and Relationships, Patrick King
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen,
David Brooks
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